Thursday September 29, 2011 Post Surgery Update

Well, here it is two days after the surgery & I survived. Yes, I am not going to lie it was painful. The worst part was the initial numbing. I did jump & they had to start over. I had a lot of scar tissue from the biopsy site, so I had to have a lot of numbing medicine. One I was numb, it was pretty easy. It is kind of strange to have the little paper put over your face and to try and keep your eyes closed. I really wanted to look but I was afraid that I would freak out if I saw the doc cutting on my face..so..I kept my eyes sealed shut.

From numbing time to surgery was about 10 minutes. The surgery itself only took about 5-8 minutes. Then I was cauterized, bandaged & packed off to the waiting area. I am going to say that the initial pathology took about an hour. The doctor took me back into the procedure room & explained that they did not get all of the cancer and we would have to do another stage of surgery. He also explained that he would be going wider & deeper. Oh Joy. I was numbed up some more. It wasn't so bad this time as I was still somewhat numb from the first go round. Out comes the paper thing onto my face & surgery begins. This one took about 10 minutes. Cauterized again, then bandaged & bundled into the waiting area.

After waiting for another 30-45 min., we are taken back into the procedure room. We wait in there another 10-15 minutes. The Doctor comes back in and tells us that they got all of the cancer & the margins are clean. Then we discuss the repair. The doctor tells me that he thinks the best repair would be a skin flap. I have done a lot of research on it and I am in agreement. The first stage of the repair is to kind of shore up & close the tissue on the underside of where the flap will be. The doctor is very good and he doesn't like the way it is coming out so, he removes the stitches and starts over. Once he is happy with the underlying stitches, he begins the skin flap. This portion of the surgery takes a little more time. I think the entire repair process was about 45 minutes. Once all is complete I am bandaged up & sent on my way with my prescriptions for pain & antibiotics. Pain meds were good the first day. The second day my body rejected them. So, it's advil for me from here on out.

If all goes well & the swelling goes down, (boy is it swollen), I will be getting the stitches out on Oct. 4. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

I am going to change the dressing today. It will be the first time I have seen any of it. I hope I hope I don't freak out.

We did take pictures through out the entire surgery. I will warn you they are pretty graphic, so if that bothers you beware.

If anyone has any questions, I will be happy to answer them as best as I can.

Brenda

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Good Morning!!

I am entering today with a positive outlook on things. Trying not to be stressed out is hard.

I have an entire pack of men, Husband, Sons, Dad, Brother & Nephews. That would bring my grand total to 10 males I deal with on a daily basis. I love them all dearly. There are days that I feel like I am swimming in testosterone..LOL. When I am not at my best, they usually aren't either.

The reason I brought this up is that the people you are closest to are affected by your cancer. Sometimes I think that they are more affected by it than I am. They don't know what to do to comfort you. They don't know what to say or how to act when they have to deal with the reality of the surgery. I think the guys, for the most part, would rather kind of ignore the situation a little. Now I don't mean that they ignore me, believe me they don't. I just think that it is very hard for all of them. I wish I could make it all go away & make it better for them, but I can't. I have to change the way I do things & they will have to as well.

This is just one of the many things I have found that has come up on my journey.

Peace, Love & Blessings everyone!!!

September 22, 2011

Hello everyone. This will be the first entry for this blog. I wanted to do this not only as a theraputic thing for my self, but in the hopes that this can create an enviornment of education & support. My story is a long one. I have been battling with skin cancer for the past 19 years. My very first skin cancer was a relatively rare presentation for a skin cancer. It was a spindel cell carcinoma. This type of cancer usually presents as throat cancer. Luckily for me it showed up as a raised angry growth on my left forearm. I acidentally bumped my arm when I was going out a door & ripped the growth off, roots & all. I bled like a stuck pig, but it healed & within 2 weeks it had grown back only it was twice the size. At the time I had a friend that worked for a surgeon and she said I should go and see him. Long story short, the area had to be excised four times before the margins were clean. I was left with a good sized scar, but over the years it has faded. You can still see it but it does not bother me anymore. Since this first cancer,  have had four additional cancers, all Basal Cell Carcinomas, that have been excised. One of the four was a Mohs surgery.

I am now facing another Mohs surgery for a new Basal Cell Cancer. My surgery date is Tuesday, September 27. The scary part is that it is on my nose. I would be lieing if I said that I am calmly accepting this. I am not. The fear of not knowing what you will look like after surgery is great. I just want it to be over with. I can't read enough about the proceedure, the personal experiences and the pictures. It is hard to describe the "mental" part of all of this. Sometimes it is okay. Other times I can't think straight. I am so preoccupied at times that I am making stupid mistakes or forgetting importanat things. Once in a while I just want to cry. It is very nerve wracking.

I know I will be fine. I can make jokes to everyone around me about having my face redecorated, but on the inside I want to scream. This is just the reality of the situation. I know it could be a lot worse. I also know that I am blessed with a great support system of family & friends. That is what anyone in this situation needs.

Thanks for listening to my story so far. I will update as things progress.

Brenda